That's All Folks!

 Goodbye! You will never hear from us again.

Reflective Essay

   

I had many goals in the begging of the semester. I wanted to really nail and work on paper structure and organization. Working on minor grammatical errors was also a minor goal of mine as well. I am working on my criminal justice degree and I need to work on writing more effective reports, I wanted to know how to express in good details in a paper to make an effective report. Also most classes require papers in MLA or APA format and I wanted to be an expert in both to be more successful in the future.

The goals that I definitely accomplished are being more effective at MLA format and APA as well. Paper structure and organization have also improved from before. I also needed more work in clarifying my thesis statements in papers and I feel that I am more knowledgeable in that subject. The last thing I feel I have nailed is learning to find more effective sources and not just using outdated or irrelevant ones. I have learned good source knowledge from my textbook.

When I was writing my research paper I learned lots of things I didn't know before I started. Some of the things I have learned included learning that an entire organization exists that supports my claim that college campuses have gone too far to violate the fourth Amendment on the students. Everything else I already knew because this topic caught my interest a while before.

The best parts of my recent paper in my opinion is trying to discredit the opposing argument by providing examples from credible, peer reviewed articles. My main thesis is also very strong in my opinion because it helps people understand what my main point is and explains it to them just in case they are not aware of the current situation in some college campuses.

Regarding my computer and technology skills being improved in this class, I have improved tremendously in my typing abilities and ways to find for better and more credible sources online. Before it would take forever to type a paper because my typing skills were unsatisfactory but now I feel more comfortable behind a computer. Also learning to cite online sources really will help in future classes.

The research process is very lengthy and complicated. It is difficult because it is hard to find credible sources especially online and very few peer reviewed articles are free. And if bad sources are used then the paper goes down in credibility if it is trying to prove a point. Overall it is lengthy but not too hard as long as you know what you are doing. I usually spend less then one week on research for a paper now but before it was one day. I just need to be patient and learn to find more relevant sources that support my claim because sometimes it is tough.

The best way to research for papers especially for new students is learning to use ebsco and jstore and the school library. Those are some of the best places to find sources for an argumentative paper. Key words on an online library are crucial to success and if the source does not contain enough move on because there are many more.

Reflective Essay

Cameron Richard

Professor Jennifer Zukowski

ENG 121

24 April 2017

A Look Back

During the beginning of the semester I had a couple goals. First, to get used to the formatting and the style of formal written papers. Having taken a speech class prior to this one, some of the habits ended up transferring over. Namely the tendency to use wording that would directly address the audience. Second, to learn how to properly give in-text citations, something which came in handy in some of my other classes, History especially. This was also a great skill to have in my psychology class, as there are many instances which require citations.

These goals were, for the most part, met. I was not able to get 100% consistent with the papers I wrote in that I still had a tendency to say “I” or “you” even in my research papers (current paper notwithstanding, as it’s a reflection on myself). However, I believe that there has been a significant improvement. As well I successfully applied the concept of staying away from such language to my history class, greatly assisting in the professionalism of the paper.  The troubles I had initially with MLA formatting and the issues I had with creating works cited pages were not entirely remedied, however, I have easy to retrieve references for any literary needs.

During the research of my topic, which was an exploration of the concept of small-scale as well as self-sustainable agriculture as a new societal normality. I was quite surprised with the simplicity of the concept of small-scale farming. I had anticipated some fairly sophisticated agricultural techniques in order to compete with the industrial-scale, however it was all simple and natural approaches to the problems. As well it was much more sustainable even economically. I also found out that the larger a farm is the less they make per acre of land, which is contrary to my prior belief that larger operations would perhaps yield larger amounts of money. Equally surprising was how easy it is to grow staple crops such as wheat and corn. The former requiring much less soil nutrients as well as less water. I was also very surprised to discover that there was such a thing as the “Encyclopedia of the Great Plains” which came in handy as far as understanding the different regions of soil quality within Colorado.

If I were to analyze and give my opinion of the strengths of my paper, I would say the depth of investigation. It is always easy for me to find more questions which I think need to be answered for the end picture to be as crystal clear as I can possibly make it. While there are always more questions to ask and more avenues of approach to a subject, you can’t just write a 30 page paper for every topic. Which brings me to what I do poorly with in my papers. I have a tendency to have a sort of convoluted premise. I get so caught up with the details I forget to take a step back and establish the big picture and what it is I’m trying to say.

This class has certainly helped some of my writing and technological skills. Specifically, I’ve improved my typing speed. In fact, I can even sometimes type while watching the professor of my class or my surroundings or the literature on which I am taking notes. This is in stark contrast to how I used to type, which one can liken to a chicken eating seeds off the ground. As far as technology goes, I’ve learned quite a bit about blogs and blogging, something that I previously had no idea what they were really or how to get information from them.

I was pleased when I learned I would be undertaking a research paper. Mostly because I enjoy pretty much every part of the research process. I especially enjoy that “tunneling” feeling I get when I start to ask more specific questions that really get to the “meat” of the subject. The only part I’m not a great fan of is the management of the resources and understanding of when a source is credible or not. Assessing credibility is hard for me, though I am aware that .edu and .gov sources are usually fairly well looked after. The amount of research I do per week usually varies, but I can usually get what I need from 5ish hours of focused digging. I think this is a pretty good amount of researching as I have not had any trouble assembling my papers in time. I could improve my methods, however, if I spent more time going over the notes I’ve taken on the research. As well as assembling more notes as I do my research, rather than relying on flipping back and forth between sources.

My time in this class has certainly given me a few “tools” and tips which I can use for research in the future. There are a few tips I could recommend to those seeking to improve upon their researching skills. First, is the amount and specificity of key words. I often found that even depending on the absence or presence of even a singe word would be able to give me completely separate results. Second, pay attention to the formatting of the website you’re looking at as a potential credible source. If it’s flooded with advertisements and click-bait then it may be less of an informative piece and more of one that has the purpose of drawing in traffic to make money. Finally, be patient. Don’t jump at any source that has relevant topics just because it’s taken quite a while to find anything you can use. It’s much better to dig for your information and to ensure you’re credible rather than to jump on the first thing that looks good so you can be done, as you’ll probably end up looking pretty dumb when your sources are shot-down and all your information is off or just completely untrue. Sticking to these tips and exercising good judgement will ensure an easier time as well as it will expedite the research process and lessen the digging one would need to do.

Paper Outline

 

Image credit

Paper Outline

Does freedom of speech give people the right to use “hate speech”?

Introduction: In the United States of America people are proud to call it the land of the free and the home of the brave. This country was founded on the principle that the people should be free to practice any religion, say what they want and much more. Freedom of speech is outlined in the first Amendment and is made to protect all forms of speech, especially unpopular speech. Freedom of speech has always been challenged and is being threatened to this day. Some people say that "hate speech" is not protected by hate speech. I disagree, I think that freedom of speech gives people the right to say anything as long as it is not a threat to any ones safety. You either have freedom of speech in America or you don’t. Offending someone should not lead to civil prosecution because everyone can just about find anything offensive. For example just stating your personal political opinion can hurt someone's feelings. I don't agree with offending someone intentionally and I'll never do that but they have the freedom to say as they wish because of the first amendment.

Support: 

1. Explain locations that ban free speech. (some college campuses)

2. Show cases that prosecuted people for offending someone. (Canada article)

3. Evidence that free speech challenges and creates new ideas (peer reviewed articles)

4. Explain that free speech is crucial in a democratic society

5. Explain hypocrisy in the argument that hate speech does not equal violence or threats.

Conclusion: Those are the reasons for why freedom of speech is worth fighting for and if we allow people to change the rules we will lose it forever. I am not advocating for hateful speech. I just want people to understand that even if you disagree or are offended by someone intentionally trying to make you upset censorship is not the answer. It can be done in many methods and is in danger.

Sources:

1. Archard, David D. “Insults, Free Speech and Offensiveness.” EBSCO, Journal of Applied Philosophy, May 2014,  

2. Barry, Munitz. “CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY SYSTEM AND FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS    TO FREE SPEECH.” EbscoHost, EBSCO, 1 Sept. 1991,  

 3. Bossaller, Jenny S. “What We Talk about When We Talk about Free Speech.” EBSCO, Library Quarterly, Jan. 2015, 

4. “Hate Speech on Campus.” American Civil Liberties Union, ACLU, 2017, www.aclu.org/other

5. Tomlins, Stevens. “The Freedom To Offend?” EBSCO, Journal Of Church And State, 2015,

Chapter 16 Evaluation

Finding and evaluating sources 

This Chapter focused on finding and evaluating sources and it was pretty useful. It provided information that is useful such as how to find sources. The best places the book recommends are almanacs, encyclopedias, catalogs, and even the internet.The book warns you about inaccurate and bias sources you can encounter in the media and to always seek peer reviewed articles if possible. It has to be fairly recent to apply to the topic of the essay. The three things you have to be sure of if you get a source is if it is objective, accurate and comprehensive. Sources can be hard to find and this chapter made me feel more comfortable in picking my sources in my essay.

https://giphy.com/gifs/approval-approve-13zeE9qQNC5IKk

Research Paper Outline

My Research Paper Outline

The Simplicity and Necessity of Self-Sufficient Food Production

Thesis: Having self-sufficiency (specifically with food production) is not only potentially life-saving and fiscally responsible but also much more simple and attainable than many people are aware.

Introduction

Humans are an extremely social species. Being so social allows us to cooperate and to collaborate on many separate tasks. Out of the intelligence and capacity for critical thinking of the modern human ancestor rose spoken language, a highly complex way of communicating complex thoughts. Complex communication is not possible with the limited sounds that most animals can make. From language arose writing, a way of communicating ideas exactly as they were conceived, rather than having to pass said information verbally which would cause a loss of the specifics only the individual would be able to recall off-hand. Humankind’s ability to communicate these ideas along the ability to spread information through written works has in turn lead to the invention of more and more complex ideas, concepts, and technologies. Some technology and concepts which are very commonplace today such as: laptops, vehicles, and, central to the point of this paper, the ability for a massively scaled agricultural industry. While many of the amenities offered by modern society are without a doubt a major convenience, letting us engage in activities which we consider worth our time or consider inherently enjoyable, most of them are not necessities to one’s survival as an individual organism. Some of the benefits of industrial society have become essential to the survival of modern civilization as we know it. I’m specifically thinking about our reliance on the mass production and manufacturing of food. Typical suburban Americans are so reliant on it, in fact, that many people have no idea how to provide for themselves should these Temples of Modernity cease their function. In fact, barely more than a third of the United States has a food garden (Home gardening in the U.S.). The ownership of a cultivated plot of land is not only educational for the individual as a potential means of self-sufficiency, but it gives a national return of approximately $21 billion dollars (Home gardening in the U.S.). While there are many means of increasing one’s capacity for self-sufficiency, I’m going to write specifically about the food aspect of it, something that is a very basic human need for survival. Of this topic, I will be examining some of the aspects of agriculture that some people may not consider should they seek to attain complete independence such as: What sort of crops produce the best yield, how much space one would need, how much one would need to grow per person, and the amount of labor that would be required. FP#1 Having self-sufficiency, specifically with food production, is not only potentially life-saving and fiscally responsible but also much more simple and attainable than many people are aware. To understand the most sustainable and stationary means of food production, agriculture, we will need to understand what is necessary for a self-sustaining farm or plot.

Supporting Points I will go over:

(The points I will go over are all simple things that individuals can do without the use of machinery or industrial equipment or techniques.)

1. The fact that there are climate specific crops and there are different requirements for different plants. I will go over Coloradan climate specifically.
2. Terrain and soil considerations. I will be going over how to manage soil quality through simplistic means. It also addresses some of the different soil requirements for different plants
3. Managing mountainous terrain. This will be to describe how to manage sloped terrain, establishing that you are able to set a plot of land in more or less any topographical environment,
4. My next point will be an evaluation of the average calorie expenditure of humans so that we are able to establish how much land is necessary for self-sufficiency.
5. My next point will be about the yield of 100 square feet of land in order to establish an easily workable unit. The yield will be represented in pounds so that there will be able to be a calculation of total calorie yield.
6. The next part will be to crunch the math and give the results of the research. I cover the approximate yield of an acre of land
7. My next consideration is livestock rather than crops

Conclusion

The purpose of this extensive examination is very simple and two-fold. A reason modern frugality as well as a reason of preparatory foresight. First, the ability to make one’s own food in today’s world can provide significant monetary savings, which as stated earlier was as high as $21 billion dollars nationwide. Second, self-sufficiency, while currently unnecessary as far as the ability to provide food for oneself, could potentially be incredibly important to the survival of many communities large and small. As has been discovered it does not take as much land or resources as is often thought of when the idea of a farm comes to mind. Much of what is considered necessary today by modern American culture is altogether non-essential to the overall survival of the human species or many individuals. It is because of this that I have examined a means of sustainably providing enough food for a small group of people. Many individuals, should the current means of providing food for the average citizen be disrupted or dissolved, may not know how to provide food for themselves or their families. If this is what happens to The United States or the world, individual conflict is inevitable as people will fight for what resources there are left available to the average citizen. With the knowledge of how to cultivate enough food, as well as the land requirements to do so, it is possible to spare oneself from some of the desperation and starvation that is so prevalent in the event of societal collapse. It is for this reason that there must be a dissemination of an understanding of how to be self-sufficient. If each person has the capacity to fend for themselves without the need of outside resources then there can be a great amount of conflict avoided. FB #2 Having self-sufficient food production requires less land than one would imagine and the methods necessary require no industrial assistance. Finally, I will end with a quote which I find to have some amount of personal truth. “I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.” (Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre, Good Reads).

Two Sources for Andrew

Two sources for Andrew in regards to the pros and cons of violence in video games.

http://healthresearchfunding.org/video-game-violence-pros-cons/

http://videogames.procon.org/

Two Sources For Micheal

http://giphy.com/gifs/foxadhd-car-csaba-klement-10KTzf4qO2mMY8

1.https://www.fastcompany.com/3025722/will-you-ever-be-able-to-afford-a-self-driving-car

2. https://www.fool.com/investing/2017/03/22/how-much-money-would-i-have-if-i-had-invested-at-a.aspx


Sources about the cost of self driving cars

Two sources for Cruz | Michael Greenlee

Two sources I found to help Cruz with his argument on hate speech were:

The Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-conversation-us/how-campus-policies-limit_b_10249690.html
— This article reviews how college students feel like their speech is limited even in a space where free thoughts are allowed to be shared and collaboration encouraged.

A review on "The Harm in hate speech" — This article is good because it discusses how some argue that hate speech needs to be banned or limited to keep up with a completely "PC" or politically correct and non-offensive society.

Photo Credit

Here's our video of colons, dashes, and hyphens.

Argument and Research reading response - Cameron Richard

Argument: Beyond Pro and Con and Research: More Than Detective Work

This reading was particularly informative for me. Prior to having this reading, my understanding of an effective essay was the typical 5 paragraph model. Intro, 3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, this reading gave me a different idea of how to effectively structure an argumentative paragraph.

Introductory Claim
Context and Background
Evidence
Analysis
Implications
Concluding claim

Something that previously I had no idea of. Part of the reading was on research and offered several tips. Most of the ideas for research they had were already known to me but it's always useful to have an extra reminder about how to effectively research a topic.

Distinguish sources (primary/secondary)
Research WIDELY (That is, research your sources as well as the authors of the sources as well. And to keep in mind that authors may have their own agenda)
Read as much of each source as possible
Evaluate the sources
Summarize or paraphrase in your own words
Select useful quotations
Exercise caution when cutting and pasting sources
Always cite sources

It asserts how thorough your research has to be for everything and how important it is to cite your sources.

Reading Review 14

Chapter 14 was all on argumentative essays and different ways to present your topics without just ranting and raving. This chapter was personally insightful due to my habit of ranting while trying to form a point. It goes over the pros and cons and different style of approach to the subject. With plenty of examples throughout the chapter to easily to navigate back to for understanding. Overall this chapter helped me with my writing due to its subject matter. 

Chapter 14 review | Michael Greenlee

Source

Chapter 14 was about argument essays and how to improve writing them. Something that stuck out to me the most was remembering the audience, especially when it comes to the counter-argument. When writing an argument essay it's difficult for everyone to agree with you, so when you're writing the counter-argument it's very important to understand what your audience who appose your thought is thinking. For those who can properly expect the reaction to their essay and counter it in the argument, can expect their essay to be much more valid and understood. Especially in my writing the audience often wasn't something I considered. Something I will apply directly into my own writing is the planning phase, on top of the audience. One style of planning they showed was claim, grounds, warrant; this style of planning is really effective for making a strong argument and actually having evidence or substance to back up a claim. I expect that once I plan my writing this way then add some considered argument towards the audience, my writing will improve drastically. 

Michael Greenlee

Chapter 14 Review

 

This week in class we reviewed chapter 14 in the textbook and this is what it was about and my thoughts. The chapter was overall about how to make effective argumentative essays. Some of the best advice the chapter gives to make argumentative essays more effective by using emotion, credibility, and logic in the right ways. An example for emotional appeal to make an argument is to make the audience feel empathy for your cause. You can say that your new policy is going to help animals by providing them shelter, it tugs on the audiences heart strings to get what you want. An example for using credibility in your writing is by saying you are an expert in the field you are studying and providing a degree. And finally for logic the writer has to simply make sense without contradictions. If it is an essay about two view points and you take a side it is a good idea to discredit those arguments using logic and credibility. Emotion can be used to make the writers beliefs seem more ethical as well, that why emotion, logic, and credibility is so important. The chapter also says to include opposing view points and always remember there are always more stances to take on an issue. Overall I think that is the most valuable information from the chapter and it was very interesting and well put together.

Chapter 14 Reading Response

A post by Cameron Richard

Chapter 14 was entirely about argumentative papers. It gives you the down low on several different ways to structure your argumentative paper and it also lets you know some of the things to stay away from when writing a paper of the sort. It tells you about the different sort of evidence that can support your point as well as instructs you on what sort of evidence may in fact actually hinder your argument rather than give it strength. It give a checklist for editing and revising, which is an excellent tool, and gives quite a few argumentative papers for you to peruse and see how others did it an
d to give you some practice with revision.

Self Driving cars online review

Jon, Cruz, Andrew, and Michael worked together

Source

Our first impressions of the website:

 The Google website has an amazing layout with easy to understand information and easy scrolling to read through and understand. The website includes statistics that draw you in and interest you in the subject. There are different tiers of information to easily jump from point to point. Because the information is linked through Google, the website seems very credible and has research backing it. It was really interesting to see how far the cars have already come. "We've self-drive more than 2 million miles mostly on city streets. That's the equivalent of over 300 years of human driving experience."  (Waymo) Hopefully for the future self-driving cars become more reliable and safer for everyone to take advantage of.

John Krasiak. Waymo, December 18 2016. Web. Accessed February 27 2017.

Second article:

The article we compared to the website is called Self Driving Cars, an Ethical Perspective. The article itself is far less exciting than the google release of their Waymo development. There is just over a page of commentary discussing ethics of the new cars and how they can improve human lifespan. The article discusses liability and safety, though in their one page article they have sited three sources, but not many quotations or places of obvious information from other sites. One of their sites that they linked, which is actually really interesting having typed this out; they cited the Google development website.

Self-Driving Cars: An Ethical Perspective. Penn Bioethics Journal, vol. 11, no. 2, Fall2015, p. 8. EBSCOhost,            frccwc.idm.oclc.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=aph&AN=117725283&site=ehost-live. Accessed February 27, 2017. 

Blog Review

 

       The blog I chose to review is Itsreallynotthatdeep’s blog. I want to say that I love their layout and I wish we can trade layouts with them. Their frequency of posts is good enough and never is lacking. Their grammar, punctuation and overall writing quality is great with a few exceptions. The only criticism I have is the image appropriateness. Their pictures are funny but don't really meet a theme in my opinion. Other then that the blog is well constructed and organized.

Good writing 9/10

Layout 10/10

Organization 9/10

Content 7/10

Image appropriateness 6/10

Frequency of posts 10/10

Itsreallynotthatdeep Blog Review | Michael Greenlee

I close to read Itsreallynotthatdeep’s blog for my review this week. The blog visually is really clean and looks great, there is a weird home page with a seemingly random image that I wasn’t sure about, but the layout was easy to navigate. I really enjoyed the design of the blog because of the ease of use, being able to find each new post and have simplicity around. The posts had decent relevancy to the images that were selected, and have great grammar. Again, some of the images seemed random or unrelated to the posts. 

Quality Criteria:  

Good writing 9/10

Layout 6/10

Organization 9/10

Content 9/10

Image appropriateness 7/10

Frequency of posts 10/10

Image credit 

Review

SRC

Today I'm reviewing a class blog called Thepartyiscrashingus.wordpress, a blog associated with our English class. Overall the blog is great in my view due to its overall simplicity and directness. They use a color scheme that's easy one the eyes and separate posts are clearly marked. I personally prefer design schemes similar to theirs, its direct and straight forward. Their writing and content is consistent with our English 121 assignments. The images used in their posts are relevant to what their writing about and I personally like the L.D one. 

Good Writing –  9/10
Layout – 10/10
Organization–  10/10
Content – 9/10
Image appropriateness –  8/10
Frequency of posts – 9/10

A Review of the Blank Slate Blog

-Cameron Richard

          The first thing I notice is a very minimalistic approach. The minimalist style is very appealing to me. As well the formatting of the blog has an excellent ease of use in that it extends or compresses to fit within the window size of the browser. As someone who regularly has several tabs and windows open, this is something that makes my work MUCH easier. It’s even helping me during this review. However, there are a few things I see that I think could use a bit of work, though it’s mainly aesthetic choices on my part.

                The main issue I would have as a reader of the blog is that there’s not much of a way to easily access past blog posts if I’m searching for one in particular. Rather than being able to search by date published or searching through an itemized archive, I have to scroll down through the posts. While this isn’t exactly a monumental task, I think that it makes it a little bit harder to really be immersed in the blog when you’re only able to see one post at a time. Along the same vein as immersion, there isn’t a very large amount of visually stimulating material at first glance. It is a very plain black and white blog.

                There are some benefits to their style of formatting, however. Rather than show you the complete text of every post, there is the first few sentences of the post with a “Read More” option directly below the text. I really like this because it plainly states the name of the post but doesn’t clutter up the screen with text if you’re not particularly interested in the subject matter. Something that helps the issue of having no archive on the side or easily accessible. I also can see how the plain style of the blog fits with the title of “Blank Slate”.

                All in all, I like what they’re doing with it. It doesn’t have obnoxious or painful-to-look-at pictures or colors. It is easy to see what you’re reading, and it is not a problem if there are multiple divisions of the screen amongst your browsers.

Peer Editing Cameron's Essay

I am peer editing Cameron Richard's essay about comparing two different websites on a mental health issue.

1. Does the essay have a clearly stated thesis?

Yes, both websites on this issue opposing have information on the topic of obesity and its social acceptance relating to the "Healthy at every size movement"

2. What are the two things being compared? What basis of comparison exists between the two?

The two ideas being compared is the idea that body weight doesn't' relate to health and the idea that body weight does. HAEScommunity.com supports the "healthy at every size" idea and medicaldaily.com supports the idea that being overweight is not healthy.

3. Does the essay treat the same or similar points for each of its two subjects? List the points discussed.

First subject (HAES)

A. Lack of credibility in the HAES website 

B.  requires payment and bias sources

C. focuses too much on emotional appeal

D. contains no facts only feelings

Second Subject (Medical daily)

A.Contains various sources

B. No payment

C. On;y Facts 

D. Lets you make up your own mind

4. Does this essay use a point by point or subject by subject strategy? Is this the best choice?

This essay uses a point by point approach and it's the best way because it's easier to understand the opposing side.

5. Are the transitional words and phrases used appropriately identify points of comparison and contrast? List some transitions used.

He uses first, second, on the flipside, and other

6. Are additional transitions needed? If so, where?

no

7. How could the introductory paragraph be improved?

The introductory paragraph is well made and establishes the main point perfectly. Not much can be improved

8. How could the concluding paragraph be improved?

Just make it a little longer and restate the thesis. Otherwise it is well made.

Essay Workshop by Cameron Richard

Peer Editing Worksheet for Comparison and Contrast

Revision of Jon Gibbons's paper

1.) Does the Essay have a clearly stated thesis? What is it?

Yes, the paper is evaluating the difference between what the United States Government and the American Psychological Association (APA) have to say about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

2.) What two things are being compared? What basis for comparison exists between the two?

The difference between the information put out by the USA and the APA regarding PTSD. The basis for comparison is that they are both professional organizations that put out information regarding health subjects.

3.) Does the essay treat the same or similar points for each of its own two subjects?

List the points discussed

FIRST SUBJECT: Department of Veterans Affairs (VA)
A. Ease of access/Information

B. Design of Site/Appearance

C. Useful material

D. Research vs. Informative site

SECOND SUBJECT
A. Ease of access/Information

B. Design of Site/Appearance

C. Useful material

D. Research vs. Informative site


Are these points discussed in order for both subjects? Are the points presented in parallel terms?

They certainly are. Each point is discussed in order for each of the two websites.

4.)Does the essay use point-by-point or subject-by-subject strategy? Is this the best choice? Why?

It uses a point by point comparison which I think is appropriate in this case. It better helps to keep in mind how one website does something as compared to the other.

5.) Are transitional words and phrases used appropriately to identify points of comparison and contrast? List some of the transitions used.

There are some, the beginning of each paragraph immediately stating the point to be discussed.

6.) Are additional transitions needed?

In some places there could be some added for better flow. However, it would not add to the overall ease of comprehension, as it is fairly straightforward.

7.) How could the introductory paragraph be improved?

By stating the purpose of each site in having information on PTSD

8.) How could the concluding paragraph be improved?

The conclusion is pretty strong, perhaps the only critique I would have is that there is some amount of word repetition that could be substituted for similes to add a better "flow" to it.

Peer Editing Worksheet

1. Does the essay have a clearly stated thesis if so what is it?

Out of two of the most commonly sought out websites for anxiety and depression, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America website (ADAA) is more effective than the Everyday health website.

2. What two things are being compared? What basis for comparison exists between the two?

a website built and sponsored by the ADAA versus a more commercial general health website. The basis of comparison is simply the quality and usefulness of the sites comparing information and accessibility.

3. Does the essay treat the same or similar points for each of its two subjects? List the points discussed.

ADAA

a. Information (personable and professional)

b. Available resources (tests and actual mental health professionals)

c. Comes off overall more professional and legitimate

d. All research and sources have legitimate state and commercial sponsors

Everyday Health

a. Information (just symptoms and quick how to's)

b. As said just symptoms of things( no professional backing from and state or commercial sponsors)

c. Cookie Cutter feelings aka the pick and stick program since you're not actually speaking to a mental health professional.

d. Resources are pulled from WebMD and style blogs. Blanket one solution may cover all leads to misdiagnosis or worse by attempting or encouraging self diagnosis.

4. Does the essay use a point by point or subject by subject strategy? is this the best choice? Why?

point by point  is used for this topic and I believe that's the best choice for this topic. When talking about something that's as important as mental health and especially when discussing possible solutions or potential points of interest it needs to be broken down point by point. Professionals in the medical field know that one doesn't cover all so focusing on the larger theme overall sometimes doesn't help and you got to get gritty.

5. Are transitional words and phrases used appropriately to identify points of comparison and contrast? List some of the transitions used.

It's nice to see many different resources such as ideas on how to cope, but especially when it comes to depression it is such a health issue where you should consults medical attention instead of reading advice off the internet.

6. Everything seems clear enough to me

7. Introduction instantly got to the point with no ramblings or middle ground took a side and conveyed it.

8. the conclusion was well done also the whole paper lead up to his opinion and there wasn't any faltering in his side,clear reemphasis of the thesis.



Peer editing workshop | Michael Greenlee

Today we are editing our "Health Issue" compare and contrast essays, and I worked with Jon Gibbons to read about PTSD and what the two websites he researched contribute.

1. The essay does have a pretty clear thesis, that Jon is going to find the difference between the U.S government's written materials for PTSD and also the information from the American Psychological Association (APA).

2. The two websites are being compared throughout his essay on three things, their appearance, active resources, and the information inside the websites.

3. The subjects are the same for both, just looking at
 - Appearance
 - Resources for help
 - Information on PTSD

These points are discussed in the same order, actually comparing them in the same paragraph then at the end summarizing what each is effective for.

4. The essay uses a subject-by-subject style where he goes through and compares both websites on each of the three subjects. I think for his essay it is much more effective to go this way because he can really highlight how they are effective, in their own way.

5. He uses transitional words to either compare or contrast, although the most common transition word he used was "both" to compare. For the future Jon could find good transitions to contrast the essays a little more and set them against each other instead of summarizing as much.

6. Additional transitions are needed, too bad I kept adding on above. I would add them after discussing one website to contrast the other and make them separate instead of more of a summary.

7. The introduction can really only be improved by making the thesis more clear on the overall purpose of the essay itself. The research and background knowledge is there.

8. The conclusion could be improved by just again, restating the thesis better once it is worked on. He does a synopsis of each at the end and shows how the are effective; if his overall goal changes I would remove that.



Image credit

Chapter 11 reading response | Michael Greenlee

Image credit

• Your Personal Reaction:   what stuck out to you when you read this? Anything surprising? Did 

you learn anything new? What excited you, or angered, or perplexed you? Any tangents about 

your own experience with the topics you’d like to relate?

I didn't learn a lot of new content about comparing and contrasting, because I did have a good general idea before. Some transitions and direct sourcing stuck out to me since that would be a great way to improve my writing in the future. In my past writing, my transitions haven't been nearly as strong as they possibly could have been. I also found it was interesting to introduce the first comparison before introducing either of the pages to set the stage. Initially I would have thought I would jump into comparing the two sites immediately.

• Your Professional Reaction:   as a student who’s gathering data for learning/future quizzes, what do you think are the most important points in the reading? Anything you wish was elaborated on more?

I think the transitions and layouts of the writing were really the most important. When you introduce each of your subjects to compare can really make a difference in the quality of the essay. I was pleasantly surprised to see how nice it was when they laid out the sentences with and without transitions. I really didn't expect again, how big of a difference they made.

• An image: find or create an image to go along with the theme/s you’ve written about. Use 

creative commons/public domain images whenever possible, and cite the source of the image properly. 

See above :)

• Your byline: this is your online signature.

Michael Greenlee 

Chapter 11 Response

 

 Image Credit

Chapter 11 talks a lot about compare and contrast essays and how to make them more effective. It gave me plenty of examples for how to structure my essay more effectively without missing crucial points. Overall I really like the direction this chapter took into showing me step by step how to set up the essay without being to much of a hassle. I will definitely be using this chapter as reference for how to set up my next new essay.

Chapter 11 Response by Cameron Richard

Chapter 11 Response

Chapter 11 is entirely about different methods of comparing and contrasting. It gives you a couple methods of how to structure the essay, such as point by point and subject by subject. It also tells you how to properly revise a compare and contrast essay as well as how to plan it in the first place. It gives a discription of a proper thesis statement as well as how to effectively use transitions to make the piece of writing flow more smoothly.

Brainstorming the C/C essay by Cameron Richard

Brainstorming for my Compare and Contrast Essay

Topics

Obesity and the "Healthy at Every Size" mindset

The two websites I will be using are:

http://www.medicaldaily.com/health-every-size-obesity-weight-loss-science-383008

as well as

http://haescommunity.com/

Thesis:

The Healthy at Every Size movement is detrimental to the health and long-term well being of anyone willing to listen and internalize to their message.

Interview

Interview with Michael Greenlee


Michael Greenlee was the subject of a recent interview that covers some personal aspirations along with some professional ones. He currently works with Apple where he is gaining experience in the professional workplace that improves his ability to formally write emails, memorandums, and he runs his own personal blog. His personal blog is mainly viewed by close friends and family. His blog covers a wide variety of subjects most being personal affairs, the ability to vent on his blog is therapeutic. He developed his work ethic in writing in JR. High, specifically he had a great interest in argumentative writing. All these experiences seem to add up as stepping stones towards his final goal. He is currently attending FRCC to obtain a associates in business to help eventually gain a masters in business administration.

Brainstorming

Image Credit

Today we are brainstorming about a new essay we are creating. We have to compare many websites on this issue to see which one is the most effective. My topic is anorexia. the websites I will use are:
https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/anorexia
http://www.anad.org/get-information/about-eating-disorders/eating-disorders-statistics/
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/general-statistics
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/prevalence/eating-disorders-among-children.shtml

Outline

Thesis: The two websites that describe and show the best comprehensive statistics are nimh.gov and nationaleatingdisorders.org, however they do have their differences

Brainstorming

SRC: http://i.imgur.com/oKCzKPO.gif


Brain Storming


Today I'm brainstorming different websites to compare their accessibility, design layout, and accuracy or usefulness of their information. I want one of the sites to be the actual department of veteran affairs website on PTSD due to them having so much bad publicity and are known for being incompetent. I'm thinking of comparing the Dept. of veteran affairs to the American psychological association website on PTSD. I believe its always interesting to compare our government's information to a private organizations website. I feel comparing these two sites could end up being boring but fortunately I'm a veteran so I can even log into the VA'S Ebenefits info on PTSD and see the direct instruction or information they give veterans for PTSD vs. what a private medical organization would.


My thesis statement:
Information on PTSD is readily available and awareness is high, but when looking at the two biggest organizations for PTSD and mental seem to have two completely different missions.
http://www.apa.org/topics/ptsd/index.aspx
http://www.ptsd.va.gov/

Health issue | Michael Greenlee

My health issue is going to be one of the more common health issues: Depression and Anxiety

Image credit

My selection of a few websites to use are
1. https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/depression
2. http://www.everydayhealth.com/anxiety/anxiety-and-depression.aspx


Thesis: Of the two websites used to help diagnose and suggest help for anxiety and depression, the ADAA (Anxiety and Depression Association of America) was much more helpful than the Everyday health post.

Outline
- Introduction
- Introduce ADAA website
- Point 1 - The ADAA website has a test to check symptoms
- Introduce the Everyday health website
- Point 2 - The ADAA has medically proven advice on how to deal with depression instead of suggestions
- Point 3 - The ADAA also has other health issues similar, so people with related symptoms can find their right issue easily.
- Conclusion

Red Herring Fallacy

Red Herring means "This Fallacy occurs when the focus of an argument is shifted to divert the audience from the actual issue."

We defined Red Herring as "Diverting the attention of the discussion away from the main point in order to confuse or distract from the original argument."

Pro-tips on how to be better than this!

• Stay on topic in your writing
• Think critically 
• Evaluate the main point
• Make sure the counter argument is actually related

Image credit

Brainstorming Ideas On New Essay

 

GIF credit

Topic: Is it necessary for police to shoot center of mass when other options are available?

More Specific:
1. A large amount of people claim that shooting the criminal in the leg is a safer option for everyone.
2.I disagree because it puts the officers safety in danger and the people the officer is trying to protect in danger.

Forming Arguable Sentences
1. The person may be drugged and not shooting center of mass increased the persons ability to hurt or kill officer
2. The reaction time of a police officer is not fast enough to shoot at fast moving limbs like legs and arms they shoot center of mass because it is effective and fast
3. shooting at limbs increases the chances of a bullet going though and causing more damage to bystanders
4. Impossible to know weather officers intend to hit the body or limbs. Missed shots can be accidental and hit other parts of the body.
6. When an officer is in danger and stressed his accuracy is significantly less efficient and forcing officers to hit a smaller target puts their life in danger because the criminal is shooting to kill and the officer has to limit his target area.

Thesis: People who criticize the police methods about shooting the center of mass are misguided because those tactics are taught to police officers are the most safe and effective way to protect their life from an unfortunate situation.

Andrew Shearer Interview

 

Allow me to tell you about one of the members of our group just in case you are interested. Andrew is the communist that sits next to me in class whose main goal is to improve his grammar and construct better body paragraphs. He has been taking concurrent enrollment during his high school career so he is already familiar with the school that we go to. However he has never been to the library at the school because books disgust him. He uses technology everyday mostly just to get on the internet, but he does not use social media. He of course does own his own computer but still needs some work on his typing skills. That might change due to our extensive use of typing in this blog.