1. The essay does have a pretty clear thesis, that Jon is going to find the difference between the U.S government's written materials for PTSD and also the information from the American Psychological Association (APA).
2. The two websites are being compared throughout his essay on three things, their appearance, active resources, and the information inside the websites.
3. The subjects are the same for both, just looking at
- Appearance
- Resources for help
- Information on PTSD
These points are discussed in the same order, actually comparing them in the same paragraph then at the end summarizing what each is effective for.
4. The essay uses a subject-by-subject style where he goes through and compares both websites on each of the three subjects. I think for his essay it is much more effective to go this way because he can really highlight how they are effective, in their own way.
5. He uses transitional words to either compare or contrast, although the most common transition word he used was "both" to compare. For the future Jon could find good transitions to contrast the essays a little more and set them against each other instead of summarizing as much.
6. Additional transitions are needed, too bad I kept adding on above. I would add them after discussing one website to contrast the other and make them separate instead of more of a summary.
7. The introduction can really only be improved by making the thesis more clear on the overall purpose of the essay itself. The research and background knowledge is there.
8. The conclusion could be improved by just again, restating the thesis better once it is worked on. He does a synopsis of each at the end and shows how the are effective; if his overall goal changes I would remove that.
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